Psalms 55:12-14
“For it is not an enemy who taunts me, Then I could endure it; Nor is it one who hates me who has exalted himself against me, Then I could hide myself from him. (13) But it is you, a man my equal, my companion and my confidant; (14) We who had sweet fellowship together, Walked in the house of God among the commotion.”
Ephesians 6:10-12
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. (11) Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. (12) For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the spiritual forces of darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in heavenly places.”
Introduction:
In 2003, the video game developer “Infinity Ward” and the publishing company Activision released a video game franchise that has sold over 425 million copies across all titles and has brought in over 31 billion dollars in revenue.
These video games are realistic and centered around real historical wars that our country has fought in and you have probably heard of these games or seen them on a commercial, Call of Duty.
While I have played every game they have made since it was originally released, the games began to take a spin in 2007 when they released Modern Warfare 4.
This is one of the most memorable games for me because of the multiplayer mode. I remember staying up all night on the weekends and playing this game with my cousins. The thing about this game is if you accidentally shot your teammate your screen would change and would read “Friendly Fire Will Not Be Tolerated.”
Friendly Fire is defined as Weapon fire coming from one’s own side, especially fire that causes injury or death.
It is normally a military term. However, this is something that the church has struggled with years . Paul addressed the church at Ephesus in Ephesians 6 and he has to remind them who the real enemy is.
Our enemy is not flesh and blood. Our enemy does not sit on church pews or even on bar stools. We don’t wrestle against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities, rulers of darkness and wickedness in high places.
Though the actions and words of others can cause hurt we must realize that the ones we refer to as brothers and sisters in Christ are not the adversary that Paul was warning about.
The people are real. The problems are real. But the person sitting next to you is not the root of the problem.
Hollywood paints pretty pictures of him, but I want to remind you that we still have an adversary called the devil and as long as he can keep the church divided, he does not have to worry about them having power.
Paul uses military communication when he talks to the church because the church is the greatest army that has ever been established. Even Jesus said the church was built on the rock and the gates of Hell couldn’t prevail against it.
But in order for a military unit to be effective, the people must walk in cohesion with one another. Their unity on the big picture must drown out their differences in the smaller picture.
We may not always agree, but we must never view one another as an enemy.
I guarantee someone in the room has been a victim of friendly fire, better known as church hurt at some point in their Christian walk.
I guarantee someone is in the room today and has been affected by friendly fire and at one point in their Christian walk has probably thought about walking away from the faith.
I guarantee there’s probably someone in the room today who has been hurt by someone they had confidence in that has been harboring it and holding on to it and because of it you’ve been limited and on guard at all times.
I just came today to remind someone who has been hurt by those you called brothers and sisters that there is healing in Christ Jesus!
If you’ll allow me to, I’d like to speak in to your life today and help you begin a process of healing.
- Speak Life
The most common weapon that is used during friendly fire is one that James said no man can tame. It is not a high caliber yet it kills purpose and breaks spirits more than anything else ever will.
The Bible says in Proverbs 18:21 “Death and Life are in the power of the Tongue.”
The reason our tongue holds this kind of weight is because of the words we say opens the door for spiritual forces to use for their advantage.
We as humans are emotional people. We live by emotions, react off of emotions. Sometimes we are high and sometimes we are low and what we speak during those times are solely dependent upon our emotions in the moment.
You say things out of anger that you would not normally say. You react to things when you have been hurt in ways that you would not normally react to them.
But what we need to understand is
With one conversation your words can create or destroy the relationships you have with people.
“Well Pastor, I just speak my mind…”
I don think you like to speak your mind as much as you want to see people hurt like you did when they talked about you the way they did.
When someone does us wrong, we start screaming vengeance. Yet when we do someone wrong, we start looking for justification.
If they talk hurt us then we start looking for a way to get even. When we hurt others, we start trying to find the wrongs they did to justify the wrongs we committed.
David prayed for the people who wronged him to die in the 55 Psalm. But what about when David took a mans life to steal his wife? There is no justification in church hurt. There should be no vengeance sought after in flesh when it comes to church hurt.
What did Jesus say in Matthew 5:7 “Blessed are the merciful for the will be shown mercy.”
When we are hurt toward people, we do not pray bad things to happen to people who have wronged us. When Jesus was teaching the disciples how to pray in Matthew 6…he said in verse 12 to ask for forgiveness for our debts as we forgive our debtors.
This isn’t a bad break-up. We don’t pray for the breaks to go out going down a hill or flower pot to fall from a window seal on someone’s head.
Even though they may have spoken ill or treated us poorly, that did not change Gods opinion toward us. We do not speak death in any place of their life. We don’t use our tongues to sow curses. We use our tongues to speak life and blessings! We are not 5th graders deciding who can be in our club and who can’t.
We are mature individuals worshipping the name above every name. we are not promoting exclusion or discord. We are promoting unity in the body of Christ!
“I can’t help that I just say what’s on my mind when people make me mad…”
If you claim to be a product of Calvary and a child of God, self control is a fruit of the change that he has made in your life.
You can help your reaction to anger by getting it under the blood of Jesus Christ and allowing him to change your life and your perspective.
Proverbs 15:18 says “A Hot tempered person stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute.”
in that same chapter Solomon also writes “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge pleasant but the mouth of fools sprouts foolishness.
If you are still hurt and angry at them, don’t say anything to give way to foolishness. You don’t heal by making them hurt, your healing doesn’t come from satisfaction, It comes from Jesus!
he’s not just a healer of stage 4 cancer and other vast diseases but the psalmist said “He heals the broken hearted and he binds up their wounds.”
If you want to be healed from what you have to endured, you must quit stirring the pot and start silencing the argument.
No one wins in a church argument except Hell.
We have got to stop terrorizing the church with disagreements and division and start coming together as one, marching toward the mark of the high calling of God!
I’m sorry that they said that to you or did that to you, but you don’t have to keep lugging the hurt around with you. You don’t have to build walls of partition, He’s the healer of your brokenness.
- There’s Healing in Forgiveness
David said in Psalms 55 “If it was my enemy…I could have endured it. If it was one who hated me, I could have hid myself from them…”
But it wasn’t….
What hurts the most about friendly fire is when you turn around and see who pulled the trigger.
David said it was my companion, my confidant, someone I had fellowship with and walked in the house of God with.
God is about to set someone free this morning…
Just because they go to church does not mean that they are perfect.
You may think that they are supposed to be perfect but get them off of the pedestal and put them on your prayer list.
As long as you put people on a pedestal you are creating room for them to fall.
This church, as great as it is, its not perfect.
Your pastor, I’m not perfect.
As long as we are on this side of eternity there will be no such a thing as a perfect church. Even the Apostle Paul in Philippians 3 told the church at Philippi “Not that I have already attained or have been perfected by I press on…
Look to your neighbor and say “we aren’t there yet…so bear with me”
Don’t get confused… I am not condoning discord. I am not permitting anger, gossip, hatred, bitterness, and so on…but to someone who has walked the difficult road of church hurt this is what I am saying.
Don’t let your expectations mixed with the actions of an individual cause you to walk away from God and miss Heaven.
I know there are people who got hurt by a church and never went to another one again.
Maybe someone who has travelled that road is watching online. I just want you to know that while there may be some bad out there..not all of us are bad. There are still people who love the Lord with all of their heart, soul, mind and strength. There are still people who love others as we love ourselves.
One thing I know about church hurt is this…
The initial attack does not cause more damage than an infected wound.
Infection spreads rapidly. The attack hits a vulnerable area in a persons life but infection is not subject to a certain area. It spreads. Before you know it, if left untreated, what started off small is now sending infection to the brain, to the heart, and other vital organs in the body.
Matthew 18:21 Peter comes to Jesus and he says “How many times shall my brother sin against me and I still forgive him?”
Notice the relation in the question….”Brother”
We do not struggle with forgiveness until we are called to forgive someone we thought would never hurt us.
Through the hurt and the trauma we develop this mindset. “If I forgive them, I’m letting them off of the hook. They will get away with it. I am punishing them by not forgiving them.
Forgiveness IS NOT letting them get away with it.
Forgiveness IS what sets you free from it.
Because until you are released from it, you cannot grow past it.
- The Baggage of Unforgiveness
I sent out a message asking for suit cases Friday when I was in my office. Some of you are probably wondering what I am going to do with these things. But this is what I want you to realize. Unforgiveness does not only affect you but everyone around you.
When we do not forgive this is exactly what we look like. We are coming to church with all kinds of baggage. This baggage represents everything people has said or done to us but in our minds our unforgiveness does not effect anyone but us.
(Try to sit next to someone with all of the suitcases)
“Don’t get close to them, you know what happened last time you got close to someone.”
“Look at them over there…They haven’t changed…”
“I’ll never allow anyone to get close enough to hurt me like that again…”
“Who needs a church family…I’ve got my baggage of unforgiveness..”
We are laughing in the moment but if we dissected the hearts of everyone in this room we would see the scars of friendly fire and the marks that church hurt has left behind.
We are here physically but we are so busy maintaining our offenses, we can’t praise, we can’t grow, we can’t breakthrough….
Listen to me Renovation…
It’s time to unpacked the baggage of unforgiveness. It’s time to open your heart and pour out what happened to you on the altar. I know it wasn’t Christ like. I know it wasn’t fair. But you will never get better as long as you remain bitter.
You been carrying around that baggage long enough….unpack it!
You are weary from the load that you’ve been carrying but Jesus said cast your care upon me for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Unpack it, Unpack it, Unpack it….
Let him heal your heart, Let him heal your mind! He’s restoring to you everything the enemy thought he robbed you of!
You will not fall casualty of friendly fire! The heart mender is in the room!
Conclusion:
When I was little there used to be a show on TV called “Clean House”. Neecy Nash was the host of the show. She would come on TV and sing “Who wants Clean House”
She would bring a team inside the houses of hoarders and they would begin declutterring and throwing things away. The homeowners would cry their eyes out because they got so used to living around the clutter that they forgot the joy they had when they lived without it.
In the end, they would be in awe. Because their house would be spotless and it would be a “Clean Slate”.
I feel a spirit of Neecy Nash…”Who wants Clean House”
Who is tired of carrying around aggressions from previous seasons. Carrying hurt and built up emotions. Who is ready to say God….remove it all. The hurt, the animosity, the anger, the sadness, the trauma…remove it all God and give me a clean slate.
How many are willing to open up their lives and say God…take it because I can’t wast another opportunity for growth by holding on to this.
